Hannibal Buress (born February 4, 1983) is an American stand-up comedian and television writer currently living in New York City. Buress has been featured in The Awkward Comedy Show special on Comedy Central, and alongside comics Baron Vaughn, Eric André , Marina Franklin, and Victor Varnado, and on the FX sitcom Louie. He currently co-stars with Eric Andre on The Eric André Show on Adult Swim. In July 2010, Buress made Variety magazine's "Ten Comics to Watch in 2010" list.
His first stand-up comedy album "My Name is Hannibal" was released on July 27, 2010. Buress was a writer on Saturday Night Live from 2009-2010. In September 2010, he began writing for the fifth season of the NBC comedy series 30 Rock. He has appeared within the show as "homeless guy" or "bum" five times, as well as appearing as Tracy Jordan on the reality show "Queen of Jordan" filmed during the episode "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning."
His stand-up comedy has been featured on Comedy Central programs such as Live at Gotham and John Oliver's New York Stand Up Show. He has also performed on several late night talkshows such as The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, Lopez Tonight, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Late Show with David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel Live! and Conan. Additionally, he performed a set at the 2012 Secret Policeman's Ball at Radio City Music Hall in New York City.
Here is the transcript from one of his stand up routines:
"I don't like it when people say I'll pray for you. 'I'll pray for you, I'll pray for you.' You're gonna pray for me? So basically you're gonna sit at home and do nothing? Because that's what your prayers are. You're doing nothing while I'm struggling with a situation, so don't pray for me, make me a sandwich or something. Cause I'm very upset right now and I can't make my own sandwiches so that would be cool if you made me a sandwich instead of praying that's very lazy.
'We'll keep you in our thoughts.' With the other bullshit in your head? No. Keep me out of your thoughts because I hear some of the stuff you take about. If that's close to what you're thinking about I don't want to be around that at all so keep me and my family out of your thoughts unless you're thinking about making us sandwiches."
We are in need of clip or transcript of Hannibal Buress and his routine about how "he likes burritos better than jesus because burritos are delicious..... and real."