Brigstocke is an English comedian. He hosts The Late Edition, the BBC's equivalent to The Daily Show and a regular on the radio program the Now Show.
"I'd like to start this week with a request, and this one goes out to the followers of the three Abrahamic religions: the Muslims, Christians, and Jews. It's just a little thing, really, but do you think that when you've finished smashing up the world and blowing each other to bits and demanding special privileges while you do it, do you think that maybe the rest of us could sort of have our planet back? I wouldn't ask, but I'm starting to think that there must be something written in the special books that each of you so enjoy referring to that it's okay to behave like special, petulant, pugnacious, pricks. . .
"I wouldn’t actually like it, but it would be refreshing to hear one of them come out and say 'Oh our faith’s violent as you like! We love a scrap, us lot, we do. Honestly, our special book says Fight, Fight, Kill, Maim, Fight, Destroy, Fight, Murder, and Fight. That’s why I signed up to be honest, I’m a bit naughty. Know what I mean?' But no, all of them claim to be peaceful religions. Yeah, peaceful right up to the point where someone takes something they think is theirs, or says the wrong thing, or looks at them funny. Then it’s fighty smashy kicky punchy all the way. . .
"A four year old is no more a Christian than he is a member of the postal workers’ union. . ."