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Stewart Lee

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UK Comedian and co-writer/director of Jerry Springer - The Opera, born in 1968.

In an August 2005 interview in The Guardian, Lee responded to the following questions:

What is the trait you most deplore in others? - Born-again Christianity and Alpha course nonsense.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life? - The removal of George Bush from power, and his replacement by someone who isn't religious and who is interested in the Kyoto agreement and peace.

Some excerpts from his act, on

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/david.patrick/stewcome.html

Stewart Lee and Jesus I was on the South Circular road in South London and I drove past a church there. Big sign outside, six foot high, orange, capital letters. It said 'You won't get to Heaven on the South Circular.'

And I thought, "No, but I will get to Balham, where I live."

The church had made a mistake there. What they had done is confuse praying for eternal life with the purpose of a road transport bypass system.

Evangelists came to my door early on Sunday morning. He knocked on my door and I went down. He said to me, "Sir, the answer is Jesus. Now what is the question?"

And I said, "Is the question, whose birthday do we celebrate on the twenty-fifth of December?"

He said, "No! It isn't that. Guess again."

I said, "Is the question, for which role was Robert Powell nominated for an Oscar?"

He said, "No! It isn't that. Guess again."

I said, "Is the question, born in 0BC, I am the inventor of Christianity. Which J am I?"

He said, "No! It isn't that. Guess again."

I said, "Is the question, complete the name of this early 1970s item of fashionable Hippy footwear, The blank Sandle?"

He said, "No! It isn't that. Guess again."

I said, "Is it, complete the name of this influential early 1980s Scottish Indie Rock band, The blank and Mary Chain?"

He said, "No! It isn't that. Guess again."

I said, "Is it, complete the name of this influential late 1980s Chicago Indie band, the blank Lizard."

He said, "I don't know. I've not heard of them."

I said, "Surely it's obvious what they're called by now?"

Then he said to me, "You obviously think it's very clever to be sarcastic."

And I said, "No."

He said, "You obviously do! You were doing it then!"

I said, "No. You were."

He said, "No! It was you!"

I said, "No. You were being sarcastic. It was you."

That went on for about two hours.

I used to be an atheist, but I was walking through the shopping centre the other day and a nun stopped me, asking me to give some money to charity. And I said I wouldn't, because I was an atheist, and I didn't believe that God existed. And do you know what she said to me? "Ah, well he does."

You can't argue with that kind of logic. That was the point I was converted.